As I sat here wondering what to write about, considering I have sat here many times to write this article, I realised for the first time in a long time, that the words were just not flowing.
Having promised Mark delivery of this article for the last week and a half, the pressure was on – from me.
You see a much-needed trip back to England to support my sons, a whole heap of emotions were ploughing themselves through my mind raising great ideas for many an article.
Being in a space with so much to share on how this trip, and the success I have had over the last few years, has impacted me and having nothing really to say, I realised on a much deeper level that less is definitely more.
Wondering how these learnings gained from scaling my business and experiencing immense imposter syndrome around releasing my 17th book could possibly help guide you through something similar.
The fascinating facts, the news on bubbling uprises as I see them, or how my ex-husband and I are choosing to live together again after nine years of divorce, just so I can be near my boys and fur baby girl, how could all of this benefit you in the now and the future?
Perhaps a call to action for the men out there? Inviting you to apply to join the ‘Man Up’ book anthology, which is expected to change the way men support each other and how women and society see and respond to men now and in the future,
Or what about a great metaphor or analogy I could share to help shift you from ‘A to C’?
Wondering what real benefit I can gift you with the ´worldly pearls of wisdom,´ I stepped away from my laptop many times.
Why should I share all of the things I am expected to share when everyone else is doing it, and we all simply get lost in the vanilla noise of it all?
With many telling us to create calls to action, and give immense value, with the addition of well-produced videos, all ‘the things’ which will create the perfect sales pitch and tease the algorithm’s fancy just a bit, I feel a resistance to it all.
What if this article’s value is found in the moments taken simply by reading the article? Knowing there will be no sales pitch, no invitation to do anything other than just be away from your current treadmill. For five minutes.
A gift of permission to look away for more than a moment.
To enjoy the distraction and ponder whether the news of me having just landed back in England after years away and finding myself in a surreal space of feeling like I am observing my life from a much higher space, whilst also participating, has any importance in your life or not.
Most likely it doesn’t, but I would hazard a guess there have been moments just like this in your life. Those calm, surreal, time blip moments before you embrace the free fall over to the other side of the tipping point.
A point you have been working towards for ages, and now finally here it is, presented to you with grace, waiting for you to say, ‘I do’.
In this state of surrealness, the feelings of being lost in time swept me away, leaving me wondering if the past few years actually happened. The events lost in a desire to share but having too much to share leaving me speechless.
The memories lost in a blur of time and space, resulting in the observation of the goings on around me, with moments of being outside of my own body.
Those moments we experience of being outside of our own bodies, and still getting things done, linger. Like a hand trail left behind during an acid trip, with the warm and fuzzy feelings as just being safe, held and at peace.
These wondering moments, whether they last for a few minutes or even days, maybe even a week or year, are the special moments in our busy lives.
Even in these moments, and the moments of ´taking-a-break’ or just letting go´ people like you and I are ‘taking a break’ we are still switched ‘ON´ to varying degrees.
We are contemplating, creating and sending a quick message.
But what is that message?
Who really is the person sending it?
What are we contemplating?
Who are we moving forward to be after this contemplation?
And now be honest with ourselves, why are we moving forward to that new space?
Do we really want to?
Or is it from an obligation we have created for ourselves?
The obligation being your business.
And not just the organisational business. I mean all of our own private business, such as family moments, private intimate moments, the loving looks to family and friends,
The real business behind why we are in business, and why we work the field we have chosen.
We’ve created these businesses, and whilst we have been productive in its implementation and growth, we’ve changed along the way. We’ve grown.
So what does it all mean now?
Is it something we still feel connected to?
Is it something we still want to commit ourselves to, like a family or life partner?
Or have we gotten past it and are now ready for something new?
Isn’t that the thing though, the very thing we have created is also ready for the new, or the next level of evolution just as we are.
As we take a look around at life from this current space, perhaps a life of never ending emails, articles, news updates, school memos, sales pitches.. and the people we share our life with,
We may realise all we really want to do is switch it all off and have a more moments of serenity during our days.
Perhaps getting back to enjoying the written word for the pleasure of it, instead of learning, or getting a ROI corporate style, is just what you needed right now.
Reading words such as these shouldn’t be a guilty trip on ourselves, like some guilty secret we have. My up and coming series of erotica maybe, but these articles? No, no guilty secrets necessary here.
Taking a moment to enjoy your drink of choice and reading the words of a woman you have never even met, shouldn’t be a ‘when I have a moment’ or looked at with a price tag on it. No. Take that moment to read these words.
Allow yourself to get caught up in the moment of meandering with me through thoughts, ideas, possibilities.
These words are simple enough, and yet they come with enough to ponder on when we have parted ways.
The questions I asked above I asked myself in the process of asking you, my reader who may turn into an acquaintance or a dearly beloved friend with whom to enjoy more than an initial coffee with.
We’ll also no doubt revisit the pondering tomorrow, then a few days later, setting us off into an almost dreamlike state again.
And perhaps we’ll start to pay even more attention and intention each time we send an email, record or write something, or say ‘yes’ when we mean ‘no’.
We’ll start to notice we are taking more notice of the ‘cobweb corners’ of our entire life.
Before creating the ‘charity’, ‘recycling’, ‘to throw’ and ‘to keep’ piles of each area of our lives on-line and off-line. A duality of live which raises a question similar to the ones above “Who is actually living these two lives? Is it one and the same person, or two, perhaps three different versions of ourselves?”
In the corner of the room, we will always find a red thread waiting to be asked “Where do you belong?” and before we know it, the whole dining room table fills with books, paperwork and board games, and before we know it the whole house has been turned upside down in a frenzy of cleaning, clearing, choosing, releasing.
And we know the cleaning is just a symbol of cleaning out more of the past so the future we have been creating can come to fruition. Ties need to be cut, old debts settled and a final line thrown to the boat as you sail away. Once more.
Choosing consciously whether something is right for us at every step in our journey may be the very thing that we have forgotten how to do.
Have we become blindsided in our chosen consciousness, so much so we are actually sabotaging ourselves?
Can we ever choose consciously without an area of our life being blindsided? Always the rose tinted glasses in the cupboard somewhere?
Or are they?
Or are these just bumper car stickers of things to write to fill the wordcount of an article I have been struggling to get written?
We can say we are struggling, or we can simply acknowledge we have not yet seen the view from this new platform of growth.
The idea of creating a new mind map up on the wall leaps into the forefront, and then maybe some hesitation because getting present to all we have created gives us a dose of imposter syndrome, whilst also has us asking the question if we are actually dreaming big enough.
With a wall full of post-it notes, sheets of paper holding the web of spider diagrams, connected through reflection on what’s now possible, we have given ourselves a skeleton upon which to add the life to.
A life with balance. A life we enjoy and thrive in. A life spent with more time meditating and reflecting. Moving away the ‘meditation time’ scheduled in everyday, because it has become another ‘to-do’ item on our list.
Lives so structured we even plan our free time.
Instead of taking the moments of spontaneous reflection and just GOing there in any given moment.
Reading something, knowing it is just for pure enjoyment and wonderment is so good for us, especially when it is done without feelings of any kind of guilt.
In the moment of realising that this enjoyable experience has come with great value. The value of two humans wondering about the essence of who we now are, and our relatability to one another, at different times in space but both equally at the same time. Twice in fact. As I am writing this, and as you are now reading it. Both of us together in this moment, times apart.
This rich web of interconnectedness we get to experience, brings us these beautifully peaceful moments where we know we can just completely surrender, free falling to our destiny.
Having such a deep sense of faith in the knowingness that everything is in hands greater than we could possibly imagine, and that makes our ability to put faith in ourselves and dream bigger than we once thought we could possibly image.
It’s what religious believers do and espouse all the time, but I am not religious, simply a believer in a Higher Realm of Consciousness and BEing, so maybe the value is in the connection you and I have just experienced through the act of me writing freely, and you wandering my mind with me.
If only for just a moment.
Maybe the greatest gift this article is giving you is a brief moment to simply step away from the rush and meander with me down streams of consciousness, seeing where this latest MSP News Global stream will take us both.
It led many places, and now ends here, as I have a train to catch, and jobs need doing before I go.
Thank you for taking a moment with me. It’s been nice. Maybe one day we’ll share a coffee together?