The Pity Parties of Those Who Despise Privilege

The Pity Parties of Those Who Despise Privilege

Over the past few years, the number of people who choose to ‘insult’ and attack others with the phrase “that’s because you’re privileged’ has increased dramatically.

Whether that is white privilege, or simply because of one’s ability to pay for the things others are wanting to pay for and can’t – when in actual fact it isn’t about can’t, and more about ‘won’t’ and the pity party they choose to attend all day every day – isn’t really the issue.

The issue is more about the ‘attackers’ view of themselves, their own capabilities and the way they view success.

To deny white privilege exists is to be ignorant of history and racial (and gender) bias. The world has been ruled by the white man for centuries, and as we are seeing more and more people of colour regaining their personal power, we are seeing a tantrum thrown by the white man in power.

But this article isn’t about the white privilege, this is about the privilege of being able to invest in the things you want.

There are many who resent the spending power of those of us who have hustled our backsides off, gotten our priorities in line with our goals, sacrificed time with loved ones, nights out, every day ‘luxuries’ and done whatever it takes to succeed.

These people live in a ‘poor me’ state of mind, surrounding themselves with other ‘poor me’ victims and then when someone who has done the work – both the inner and the game changing work – answers questions with something ‘poor me’ disagrees with, out comes the venom of jealousy and spiteful attacks of being privileged.

Recently in the #writingcommunity of Twitter, one young lady asked about how to choose the font for her book cover design. As a member of, and mentor to some in the writing community, I mentioned that the choice of font should represent the psychology of the book, the feelings which they want to invoke in the reader, and the genre.

I recommended they invest in a professional cover designer, which starts at a few hundred dollars, and will pay dividends in the long term.

And this is where those who were reading the thread came back at me with their comments calling out my privilege with their lack of knowledge of my own focus, determination, sacrifices and deep inner work to get to where I am.

You see, those who call out what they think is an insult and an attack on us for being privilege fail to realise that it is a compliment and an acknowledgement of how far we have travelled; and a reminder that all the days and nights of working 18 hour days, falling asleep at our laptops, going without, facing our fears of success and dismantling our money stories, have been worth it.

What they also fail to realise is they are telling the world, and the Universe, that they resent being able to pay for things because they don’t have the money to make choices freely, and so they get more of the same – the inability to pay for things.

These people who choose to attack those of privilege are unwilling to see the possibilities for themselves, are unwilling to do the work needed to get ahead, and unwilling to ask the right questions in all the right places to make the changes in their life which gets them the results they want – or say they want.

Because let’s be honest here, if we want anything bad enough, we will get it in one way or another. It may not look exactly how we want it to look, but we will get it.

If we want it badly enough.

Having deleted 10s of thousands of my followers on social media by deleting all my profiles except LinkedIn I experienced relief. It meant I could focus on my work, not deal with the drama queens and gain clarity on how I wanted to live my life, and with who.

Many people said it would be suicidal for my business, just like they said sailing around the world would be suicidal for my business, and here I am five years later in a much stronger position than ever.

This position could have been strengthened by me staying put and building a local community, but I’ve been there and done that; and chose something different for this next phase of evolution in my life.

And it is these kind of choices we make that make a huge difference in our lives, and how others see us.

Does my life on the outside look incredibly privileged? To many, yes it will. But to others, not at all!

But none of it really matters what others think about my level of privilege, because like I said at the top of the article, when someone calls me privileged these days I take it as a compliment because it shows how far I have come, and how much I have achieved in my career, my life and most importantly my mindset.

Calling out someone’s privilege is calling out the levels of success they have achieved, or that their parents or grandparents achieved, and success is something which should be celebrated, not diminished.

Unfortunately, with the number of bubble wrap parents and schools denying the very art and understanding of competition, we have entered a time where instead of people asking, “How do I achieve this?” and building the determination and commitment to achieving all they desire, we have a generation of “Life’s not fair, woe is me” drama queens who are ready to attack anyone who has competed with themselves to get to where they want to be.

One of the biggest hurdles many of us who have committed to our highest self and success will understand is that to achieve all we wish to achieve means letting go of old beliefs, facing our shadow selves and being prepared to sacrifice the things which are a comfort to others, whilst letting go of certain people in our lives who hold us back.

For those who are unwilling to do the things in the last paragraph, it is unlikely they will ever succeed, at anything, other than becoming more of a pity party attendee and a ‘Woe is me Wendy or Will’ who lash out at others with the compliment of ‘being privileged’.

What does surprise me about the writing community on Twitter is that to be a great writer, you need to be a great reader, and with all the self-help, success, ‘get rich and make money’ books out on the market, you would think – especially with all the declarations of wanting to support other authors – they would buy the books which would help them succeed in their chosen career as an author.

But they don’t, and it is very unlikely they will, because that would mean giving up their comfy slippers of a sob story that they are less than, have to do it themselves (rather than choosing to do it for their future) and can’t do it, so need mummy dearest to make everything better for them.

In that last sentence you have read the words ‘choosing to do it for their future’ – and success is a choice, poverty is a choice, and I say this from the perspective of having lived and worked in some of the poorest countries in the world, where people of colour started out with nothing more than mismatched flip flops, 2 t-shirts, 2 pairs of trousers, and a home which was no more than wooden pallets held together with duct tape and a prayer, and no education… just the desire to change the situation of themselves, their family and their community.

So, if these people can achieve success and privilege, then the ‘Woe is me Wendy and Will’s of the white Western world can do it do too… if they truly want it, and choose it.

*If you are an author, or an aspiring author and wish to increase your chances of getting ahead, check out the DBI Author Academy on my website and for anyone interested in working with me 1:1 on the development of their manuscript and author business, book a discovery call and starter session with me.

Thought-provoking content is what Dawn is known for, as well as her non-stop travel around the world by sailboat and her trademark giggle. To learn more about Dawn, visit www.geni.us/dawnbates.

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